March rolls on by. . .

March has come and gone. Nothing major has changed with this surgical process, just a bunch of WAITING that is driving me CRAZY!! (good thing I've already had my psych consult huh?) Only a few minor details are still left to iron out.

I got all of the bills from my consults. The ensuing arguments about insurance co-pays and what is covered and what goes towards my deductible has been exhausting. And the fact that I changed insurance carriers halfway through this process didn't make things any easier for me either. But, all's well that ends well right? As of March 25, I was completely settled with my consults and the surgeons office for my first visits. It doesn't sound like much, but I'm really glad that its all over with.

I've been continuing to work out at the gym on a fairly regular basis. I try for every other day, taking Fridays and Saturdays off. That's 3 days a week, concentrating on at least 25 minutes of cardio with my heart rate over 165 bpm (yes I know its crazy, but its just how it is for now) and another 25 minutes or so on the weight machines. The weather has also gotten nice, so I've also been trying to walk on my off days at the park or forest preserve that are near my house.

I've also began eliminating things from my diet and habits that I can't have around the time of or after surgery. I started by giving up caffeine, which I can't have for a few weeks before surgery and several months after. I will admit it was difficult, especially the first week. I was seriously wishing there was a group meeting that I could attend called Starbucks Anonymous. But I have done really really well with the no caffeine rule, I've cheated only twice in the last 8 weeks (which anyone who has ever dieted before knows is pretty decent. And I still claim having to be at church before 7am on a Sunday morning deserves a little jolt first). Included in that no caf thing is chocolate. I understand there is minimal caffeine in chocolate, but I'm doing my best to stay away from it, too. The next thing I gave up was alcohol. I have problems talking about giving up the booze, because it makes me sound like an alcoholic, which I am NOT. But I LIKE martinis and wine, and every now and then a cold Blue Moon. But I did give it all up about 3 weeks ago and its been going fine. Its just hard to watch the other people around you enjoying things you KNOW taste good. (But I get the feeling that might be a recurring theme in my future, so I guess it good to practice now)

I will admit the hardest part of this whole process has been telling people. I don't think the fear that I have of telling people goes any farther than openly admitting to having a problem that I can't handle on my own. But the fear is still there and the last 6 weeks or so, I've started to tell some people and each time I tell someone it seems to get easier and easier. I feel pretty good that basically all of my family and all of my friends know. (And it makes life smoother when people aren't thinking I'm pregnant when I pass on the cocktails-which someone did ask me). The strange part of telling people are the few random people that tell me "I know someone that had that done and it didn't go well for them." I would like to ask these people (but didn't because I'm apparently too polite) what the hell they're thinking? If someone says to you, "Hey I bought new car,' you don't say, 'I know someone who almost died in car accident a few years ago.'

Anyway, (I'm gonna move on from that because I could really call some people out on that one. Like my boss) this week on Thursday I have my April weigh in. As you probably remember, I have to lose 6 pounds over a 3 month period. When I weighed in at the beginning of March, I was down about 6 pounds, so all I had to do was maintain it for another month, as of this morning, I'm unofficially down 12.5 lbs, so as long as I can stay where I'm at, I will be a happy camper :)

If all goes according to plan, my full insurance application will be sent out at the end of the week. I'm told it usually takes the insurance company about 3 weeks to respond (but lets be more realistic and say a month?). After the insurance approval goes through, the surgeons office is scheduling surgeries about 3 weeks out. So I'm still shooting for mid-May for surgery, but only time will tell (but seriously, I think all this waiting is going to KILL me soon!).

The Beginning

I am 26 years old and I think I'm pretty typical for my age. I have a job that pays the bills. I'm single and looking for a man that . . . well, thats a different topic all together. I have a great family and amazing friends. Typical in most ways, but I would say most is the operative word. The one area that I would consider my self atypical about myself is my weight. Yes, all women have parts of themselves they dislike, but this is not that kind of issue. I am not considered overweight, or obese even. I believe the words used for me are 'morbidly obese.' I'm sure there are all sorts of questions about how do you let yourself get so far overweight. My answer is, its really not that hard. A small problem gradually becomes a bigger problem until it takes some event for you to realize its not a small problem anymore.

NOV 2, 2009
For me it was a simple question asked to me from a gate agent when I was going on vacation. "Can you sit comfortably in a seat with both arm rests down?" An innocent enough question thats probably standard for airlines, but that question changed my life. I, of course, lied to that nice lady and was uncomfortable on both my outbound and return flights, but the foundation had been laid.

I spent the better part of the following month obsessing over how a want to lose weight had become a need to lose weight. I thought about how I would go about this incredibly daunting task. Should I join a gym? Buy a diet book? Try to develop an eating disorder? (As some of my closest friends say, I've got the binge part down, but I'm still working on the purge part). How do I get through the holidays without gaining more weight? I began thinking about my most likely options and I have tried Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, and a few of the fad diets (maybe the taco bell diet this year???), but I wanted a more permanent solution. Through the magic of the internet and having the world at my fingertips, I started to do some research on bariatric surgery, in the beginning specifically on banding systems (lapband, realize, etc). And this, I came to understand, was the beginning of the end of my weight battle.

DEC 16, 2009
So on a very cold, snowy Chicago night, I went to an informational meeting regarding weight loss surgery. The surgeon spoke for about an hour on benefits, risks, eligibility, prerequisites, insurance & costs, and on his personal abilities and successes with surgery. As I sat there, I found myself thinking that it was kind of like sitting in a sales pitch for something I already knew I wanted to buy. Later that night, in discussing it with my family, a decision was made that surgery would be a feasible option for me. I scheduled a consulation and was left to wait for weightloss.

There is more to this story, but my inherent loquaciousness limits how much I can cover in one post! Stay tuned, because this post will be the most boring of all.