READY: prepared mentally or physically for some experience or action; prepared for immediate use; willingly disposed; inclined; likely to do something indicated, displayed readily and spontaneously.
No this is not the start of a 3 paragraph high school theme paper. The word "ready" is important for a few reasons. First, every time I tell someone about my plans for surgery, inevitably the 2 questions they ask are, "Are you nervous?" and "Are you ready?" My answers never change. No, I'm not nervous and yes, I'm ready. But the more important reason the word "ready" matters is because this past week, I finally understood what it meant to be ready for this surgery and for the change that will come from it.
After a successful visit to the cardiologist this week, I found out that my heart murmur, while noticeable, is very mild and no cause for concern. There is no reason to treat it at this point and my only limitation is that I see a cardiologist every year to make sure it doesn't get any worse. So that means, I have received clearance from all 3 of the consults I needed. My file is now complete and ready to be sent to the insurance for approval when the time comes.
Even that is not really being ready for all of this. That happened sometime between last Tuesday and last Friday. I don't know exactly when it hit me (isn't that the case with most revelations?) but I know for sure the readiness was there last Friday, Feb 19. I know this because I willingly walked into a local fitness place and joined. And then I had some other errands to run, but when I was done. I went home and changed and went BACK to the gym and worked out for almost 45 minutes. If you know me at all, the sheer fact that I was willing to do this is a shock. And you will be even more shocked to know that I went back on Sunday, Monday, and again tonight. The gym thing could be scary. I'm so overweight and there is a temptation to let my mind wander into how the other people at the gym could be judging me. And I'm not really able at this point to run on a treadmill for an extended period of time or spend more than about 15 minutes on a bike or cross trainer. Those things could scare me, but I'm handling all just fine, taking it all at my own pace. (PS- Just in those first 4 days of cardio, I've dropped 4 pounds).
The true feeling of ready is an acceptance of the fact that I've made mistakes in the past regarding food, exercise, and my weight. And its not about making myself feel guilty for those mistakes, its about starting to make the right choices NOW. I can't change the decision I made last month not to take advantage of some gyms beginning of the year deals. And I can't change the 25 pounds I let myself gain after last spring's bad break up. What I can do is challenge myself to eat healthier today and plan for tomorrow so those choices are easier. And I can will myself to go to the gym and figure out how to work the ellipticals, the weight equipment, and that weird stair-mill thing.
So while you may not feel it or see it, I am already a changed woman. I can feel it way down in my core (which happens to be killing me after a particularly grueling yoga class this evening). And I can not WAIT to get this surgery scheduled and to have the procedure to make this process go smoother. So if you see me, go ahead and ask me. My answer now more than ever is, "Yes, I am READY!"
Showing posts with label Cardio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cardio. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Consult For Me Again, Dr McDreamy
JAN 28, 2010
Well cardiology day had finally arrived and it didn't take long to realize I'd found myself a true, blue Cardio-god (another 25 bonus points for the TV reference) for a specialist. (if you can't already hear it, imagine a soft angelic choir singing "ah-AH" in major chord progressions). I will admit that the nurse cracked me up, mostly because I was unintentionally cracking her up. So she came in, took the usual history, my pulse, and my blood pressure. Then she got up and handed me a gown, asked me to undress from the waist up and then left me alone. Ok, no problem. A few minutes later, she came back with this machine on a cart and asked me to lay on the examining table. Again, I can do that. Then she gets out all this little sticky pads and starts putting them all over me. Now you should know, that I'm pretty much game for whatever, but that I've never (to my knowledge) had any tests done on my heart, so I had no idea what was going on. So I asked the nurse exactly what she was doing and she said, "Setting up your EKG." Oh, ok. Wait. "What exactly is an EKG?" She looked at me and started laughing as she apologized saying that she never sees new patients and forgot that I wasn't a regular at this. It was at that point that she fully told me what was going on, which basically included me laying flat on a table for about 3 minutes. I like these kind of tests.
After a few more minutes, the doctor himself walked in. Now, I've been keeping my posts fairly anonymous as not to throw specific people under the bus, but I'm going to tell you my cardio doc's name mostly because if you have heart issues, you should demand to see him. Even if you don't live near Chicago, the drive might be worth it. Anyway, Dr J Stella came in to talk about my heart and the surgery and my EKG results.
Its important to note here that every one's heart operates slightly differently than the next person. Most of cardiology is based on generalizations. And, if every person went to have their ticker checked out, they would probably find out at least one way that they vary from the 'norm.'
Knowing that, what Dr. Stella told me was he found 1 smallish issue in my EKG. The first was that I have a Right Bundle Branch Blockage (RBBB). Ahhh-that sounds bad! But, alas, it is not. Basically as the good Dr explained, the heart has 4 chambers, 2 atria that sit atop 2 ventricles divided into right and left sides by a muscle called the septum. My understanding is that the septum between the right and left side of the heart is where the electrical impulse comes from to make the heart contract (beat). In a 'normal' heart, the impulse travels down the septum to the bottom of the heart and then up the sides of the ventricles to the atria, where the charge meets again. In my slightly abnormal heart, the charge goes down the septum but only travels up the left side, in a circular motion until it gets all the way back around to the septum. Dr Stella informed me that this is very common and is not a cause for concern. In fact, according to a study(that he actually quoted to me because he rocks) there is no evidence that a RBBB is a precursor or predeterminite factor for heart problems later in life. Score!
[Sidebar: I'm not a doctor, not a cardiologist, and have a little (but not much) medical training. Don't use me as a source. And do NOT skip seeing a cardiologist because I told you a RBBB is no big deal if you think you have one. Let your cardio-god tell you himself!]
My second issue Dr Stella found after listening to my heart was that he believed I have a small heart murmur. Again, that sounds bad. Unfortunately this time, he wasn't able to assure me so quickly that I needent worry about it. What we did do was schedule me for an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) and a stress echo (where they do the echo after exercise) for about 2 weeks out. And basically I get to stew over that diagnosis for the 3 weeks until my next appointment with him! (PostScript- At one of my best DQ moments, I did tell someone that they were aggravating my heart murmur. That was actually kind of fun)
See? What did I tell you all about 4 posts ago? If I was going to fail any portion of these consults it was going to be cardio. I haven't technically failed, but I've definitely been shuffled to the remedial section of class. More on the echo portion and my first "group meeting" at the surgeons office soon!
Well cardiology day had finally arrived and it didn't take long to realize I'd found myself a true, blue Cardio-god (another 25 bonus points for the TV reference) for a specialist. (if you can't already hear it, imagine a soft angelic choir singing "ah-AH" in major chord progressions). I will admit that the nurse cracked me up, mostly because I was unintentionally cracking her up. So she came in, took the usual history, my pulse, and my blood pressure. Then she got up and handed me a gown, asked me to undress from the waist up and then left me alone. Ok, no problem. A few minutes later, she came back with this machine on a cart and asked me to lay on the examining table. Again, I can do that. Then she gets out all this little sticky pads and starts putting them all over me. Now you should know, that I'm pretty much game for whatever, but that I've never (to my knowledge) had any tests done on my heart, so I had no idea what was going on. So I asked the nurse exactly what she was doing and she said, "Setting up your EKG." Oh, ok. Wait. "What exactly is an EKG?" She looked at me and started laughing as she apologized saying that she never sees new patients and forgot that I wasn't a regular at this. It was at that point that she fully told me what was going on, which basically included me laying flat on a table for about 3 minutes. I like these kind of tests.
After a few more minutes, the doctor himself walked in. Now, I've been keeping my posts fairly anonymous as not to throw specific people under the bus, but I'm going to tell you my cardio doc's name mostly because if you have heart issues, you should demand to see him. Even if you don't live near Chicago, the drive might be worth it. Anyway, Dr J Stella came in to talk about my heart and the surgery and my EKG results.
Its important to note here that every one's heart operates slightly differently than the next person. Most of cardiology is based on generalizations. And, if every person went to have their ticker checked out, they would probably find out at least one way that they vary from the 'norm.'
Knowing that, what Dr. Stella told me was he found 1 smallish issue in my EKG. The first was that I have a Right Bundle Branch Blockage (RBBB). Ahhh-that sounds bad! But, alas, it is not. Basically as the good Dr explained, the heart has 4 chambers, 2 atria that sit atop 2 ventricles divided into right and left sides by a muscle called the septum. My understanding is that the septum between the right and left side of the heart is where the electrical impulse comes from to make the heart contract (beat). In a 'normal' heart, the impulse travels down the septum to the bottom of the heart and then up the sides of the ventricles to the atria, where the charge meets again. In my slightly abnormal heart, the charge goes down the septum but only travels up the left side, in a circular motion until it gets all the way back around to the septum. Dr Stella informed me that this is very common and is not a cause for concern. In fact, according to a study(that he actually quoted to me because he rocks) there is no evidence that a RBBB is a precursor or predeterminite factor for heart problems later in life. Score!
[Sidebar: I'm not a doctor, not a cardiologist, and have a little (but not much) medical training. Don't use me as a source. And do NOT skip seeing a cardiologist because I told you a RBBB is no big deal if you think you have one. Let your cardio-god tell you himself!]
My second issue Dr Stella found after listening to my heart was that he believed I have a small heart murmur. Again, that sounds bad. Unfortunately this time, he wasn't able to assure me so quickly that I needent worry about it. What we did do was schedule me for an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) and a stress echo (where they do the echo after exercise) for about 2 weeks out. And basically I get to stew over that diagnosis for the 3 weeks until my next appointment with him! (PostScript- At one of my best DQ moments, I did tell someone that they were aggravating my heart murmur. That was actually kind of fun)
See? What did I tell you all about 4 posts ago? If I was going to fail any portion of these consults it was going to be cardio. I haven't technically failed, but I've definitely been shuffled to the remedial section of class. More on the echo portion and my first "group meeting" at the surgeons office soon!
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